A beautiful and warm day in Denver!

I sit here outside in this cold, calm, simple fall night and created a quote: Be thankful for warm beds to lay in or noble causes to shiver for.

It's sunny and calm, but the autumn chill has settled over the Mile High City.

It's a wonderful, sunny, windy, fall afternoon in Denver.

Big Questions

Life's full of challenges, questions that rattle your own perception of yourself, your integrity.

Recently, I posted a blog and a reader posted a comment that asked me some hard questions. I would like to bear my soul, so to speak, on this computer and share some of the answers with you.

Where do I see myself? To be honest, to be fair, I see myself as stagnant, in need of a good adventure. I lived honestly in a van for over a year, climbed rocks in Utah, stayed at a beach cabin in Alaska, and now I watch television in an apartment in Denver. I am in need of some self-made opportunities, and I haven't given myself the chance to do that in the recent past, something I've really been struggling with.

Do I regret anything in my life? Who doesn't? I suppose we all have regrets, and I would be lying if I said I have none. Really looking into it, I have to consider the mistakes I've made, the opportunities I've missed, to be lessons learned. However, that's easier, at least for me, in theory, and more difficult in practice.

Do I ever want a family of my own someday? In a way, I already have. In a way, I have one now. In a way, I'd like to give it a shot in the future. Four years ago, I had a wife and a son, a son who passed away, taken by S.I.D.S. It was hard, and I went through years of soul-searching, a journey that led me to start this blog. Now, I find myself with the same woman, a different son from a different man, and it's a big, complicated, confusing time for me. I really enjoy my lot in life, and I do feel like I have a family, but in honesty, every once in a while, I feel like it's not mine, and I feel disconnected. Maybe one day, I'll either come to terms with what I am involved in completely, moreso than I have. But I must say that I am really content with who I'm sharing my life with, and I'm thrilled at the idea of raising a little one, a boy who I love and enjoy seeing smile.

Do I ever feel like I'm missing out on something? I have to concede that I have more lately than in the past. I really loathe watching television, and that seems to be all I have done lately. It's incredibly dull. Like I said earlier, I need an adventure.

Do I know what I'm searching for? Never. And I probably never will. All I know with certainty is that I must keep looking. The journey must never end.

Thanks to the Anonymous person for asking me. In a way, I hope you're inspiring me, whoever you are, to keep going.

Delays and Insanity

I know it's been a while since I've blogged, partly because I haven't really had an adventure big enough to warrant a quality blog, and partly because of the course my life has taken in the past weeks.

I've found myself in a nuclear family unit, a very special significant other in my life, and a baby boy, who, for all intents and purposes, is my own son, Malcolm Reynold. (If you're a geek and you get the reference, bonus points for you.) With this development, I've been trying unsuccessfully to plot out some sort of plan for this nuclear family unit... and I'm finding the task to be very challenging.

I just watched "Burn After Reading", and like the report to the CIA officer, I'll be sure to let you all know when any of this... makes sense...

The Cricket Serenade

Lyss and Malcolm and I went to a friends house for dinner tonight. We had a good, hearty meal of meatloaf, mashed taters, and a salad. After dinner, I stepped outside into the dark, warm, evening air and found my head swimming in a nice melody of the cricket symphony. I forgot how much I loved being outside in the summer evenings.