Withdrawal From Social Media

A couple of days ago, i removed myself from social media. I deactivated my Facebook account and deleted my Twitter app. It feels very refreshing to be able to focus on my every day life a little bit more. We'll see if I'll be able to keep it down for a while, but I'm giving it the old college try.

The Undiscovered Country

Is that what the future is? The Undiscovered Country? Who knows. It's a strange time. Unplug and keep moving forward.

Overwhelming Adversity

I know a girl who bought a school bus and had all the seats out in a day. One day. The day after she bought it. I'm taking years, literally, years to slowly move through my plans. I could say it's youthful energy that isn't burdened with kids and dogs, but it's me. I'm slow and lazy. Time to change. 

My Best Girl (Lucero)

I'm a sucker for some pretty eyes

But they're going home with some other boy tonight

And i guess I'll be fine

Cuz there's one girl that's all mine

She's seen it before, she'll see it again

Cause that other girl's going home with him

And I've come back to her

She don't mind

She's my best girl, she's got six strings

And she knows all about these heart-breaking things

Though her eyes might not shine, she's

Always by my side

Well, she's all mine, for all night

She's my best girl by far

Well, she's all mine, for all night

And she'll never break my heart

She don't care if i come home late

Or if i don't come home for seven long days

She knows that I'm hers

And she knows to wait

She knows those other girls just won't last

She knows I'll always come on back

To her

She's all that I got

She's my best girl, she's got six strings

And she knows all about these heart-breaking things

Though her eyes might not shine, she's

Always by my side

Well, she's all mine, for all night

She's my best girl by far

Well, she's all mine, for all night

The only girl a boy can trust is his guitar

She's my best girl, she's got six strings

And she knows all about these heart-breaking things

Though her eyes might not shine, she's

Always by my side

Though her eyes might not shine, but

At least she's all mine

The Blue Collar Life

I'm in love with where i am, working on the every day life, laughing with people who are sharing the experience. I'm not rich, and i never will be. I'm excited about it. I'd rather hang with the under-dogs in this fight. 

Home

I'm feeling today, more than i have in a long time, that I'm living in exile.

I was born in Colorado. Denver. The capital city. At the time, my parents lived in a bedroom community in the hills called Conifer. My mom grew up a few miles from there in another little town, but it was too close to Denver for them. They had to get away.

Dad worked for the Post Office, and when i was 6, he transferred from Evergreen to Salida. I graduated high school here and came back after a very brief stint in San Antonio, Texas (Go Air Force!) and not completing two years of college in Alamosa, Colorado. Then Denver for 7 years.

I was in Denver making signs for real estate companies when the market crashed, and i decided to move to Alaska. That's home 

I lived in Ketchikan for four amazing years. I met my wife there. I had a great job, lived on a sailboat. I got to watch sunsets that took hours and leave fires on the beach. I got to camp under tarps and see whales.

Then i gave it up. For my kids.

And now I miss it something fierce.

Vehicle Registration

In an actually relevant-to-this-blog post, the BattleWagon OG has registration again. It's been almost a year since it expired, and it's just been sitting, sadly full of junk and wasting away. So much work to be done, but it can be done. It just needs to be done. What better place than here? What better time than now?

The Busy Bee

My 8-year-old daughter is in third grade this year. Since school started, she has committed to a small role in Shrek, The Musical and playing for the kids roller derby team. I officiated a wedding last weekend, and she knew almost as many people as i did, here in this town where i grew up and spent more than half my life.

I hope she's never afraid of what she's building for herself here.

Star Wars as Religion

It's silly to believe in something that's written by people with no religious or spiritual background as fact. It's sillier when those people write for the purpose of gaining power. Still, it's okay to be silly if nobody gets hurt, yes? Enter Star Wars.

I'm not personally a believer in Star Wars. I do believe in The Force, but i believe The Force is like Qi (Chi), an invisible web of positive or negative energy that flows through everything and holds it all together. That's about all i take from it in practice.

In inspiration, however, there are stories of men and women fighting for noble causes, physically, mentally, morally, ethically, emotionally... battles against themselves, their friends, and their sworn enemies. The line between good and evil is much more clear than in, say, The Bible? It's okay to draw inspiration from these places. Whatever gives you the courage to face another day.

Musical Connection

My head does stupid things sometimes. The blockbuster animated film "Frozen" has a song in the soundtrack that sings about the north wind and what not called "All Is Found". Play it and then immediately play "Wind of Change" by the Scorpions. It's going to jack up your whole week.

Incoherent Ramblings

This blog is currently an accurate representation of my life. No focus. No goal. Just existing. It's a little disappointing, honestly, but then again, my kids are alive and fed, happy, housed, and getting educated. In that context, I'm blessed.

This blog has been a wonderful tool for me to share my experiences living in a van, moving to Alaska, Montana, living in my sailboat, doing all of the fun things that people are afforded the time to do when they are younger. Now, though, children throw the kinks.

At one time, i actually wanted to pack these kids into a van and see how it went. It looks like that may be the de facto plan in 2022 America. I just hope that whatever we get into, it teaches them kindness and humility. Everything else is moot.

The Unending Choring

I'm convinced that, when i die, i will be alone and i will have no possessions to my name. I will have no more accomplishments, save surviving as long as I have. I won't be remembered for doing anything great. Nothing will be named after me. I won't have anything to leave to my kids or grandkids. I will have consumed the empty shell i have carved out for myself, devoid of taste or fulfillment. I hope I'm wrong.

75 Hard? Nah. 63 Realistic? Sure.

I have a few very close friends who have completed the "75 Hard" challenge, where the participant agrees to crush workouts, family time, intellectual time, and other commitments for 75 straight days. Failure to comply once, no matter how far along, results in beginning the project at Day Zero. It's one hell of a feat, and I'm certainly not trying to take anything away from that accomplishment. At all. Two of the guys i know who have completed it are, i would safely say, different men than the guys I met years ago. Then again, so am i, and i haven't completed this challenge myself, but i have had kids and survived three summers as a line cook, so...

That being said, if time or money weren't constraints, i would love to participate in such a program myself. As it is, for funsies, I've made one of my own. Folks, I introduce "63 Realistic".

The Rules:

Every day for 63 days:

1. Pick a diet, stick to it, and make sure it's includes two days of easy comfort food and dessert. One drink here and there won't kill you, but stop smoking. 

2. Read 10 pages of any book you want.

3. Drink 32 oz of water, unless it's hot or you're working out. Then drink until your pee is clear.

4. Take a progress picture and a picture of something meaningful to you.

5. Workout for half an hour, once a day, 5 days a week. If you're like me and trying this out.

If you miss a day or two, pick up where you left off. Don't freak out. You can always add a week or two if you really feel bad. Maybe you'll be the first to break 1000 Realistic. Who knows?

I think I'm going to try it out and see what happens. Tomorrow is a Sunday. That's a good Day 1.

Matrimony

Today, i oversaw my first real wedding. It was simple, and my part was minimal. But it went super well, and everyone was beautiful. I love love.

Pain

My three-year-old broke his big toe today. He dropped a wood-splitting maul thingy on it. Hairline fracture, not compound. He's refusing to take any pain meds. Poor bugger. Sucks to see your little ones in pain, for sure.

Advocacy

Self-advocacy, specifically. People need to learn to be their own best friends. We need to learn to defend ourselves like we would someone we care about. It's okay to tell your boss that what they did was unfair or even bullshit. It's okay to tell your friends that you're hurt. It's okay to tell your parents you're struggling. It's okay to defend yourself. You can do it. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours.