My knowledge of the history of Easter is probably elementary at best. I know it's the culmination of the Holy Week, tied to Passover (called Pascha in other parts of the world). I know it's the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus. I know it's the end of Lent. I know it's celebrated after the first full moon after the spring equinox in accordance with many pagan traditions.
What i don't know is how I'm supposed to feel. I'm a skeptic by nature, but my skepticism is most evident during holy times of year, when i find all of the flaws i can. Questions flood my head every single holiday. Did Jesus really experience apotheosis? Was his body simply taken from his tomb? Maybe by activists? Or animals? If he died for our sins, why did he get rewarded only three days later? Is that a true sacrifice? Is the divinity of Jesus really the most important part of the story? Was any of it real at all? When i ask God, how come he doesn't answer? Do both not possess the necessary privaledge required to communicate with a dirty?
I type all of this as i watch Pope Francis reside over Mass in Vatican City. I'm watching thousands of people at this very moment who have the answers to these questions, and I'm envious. I'm not jealous, because my brain tells me that they can't possibly be honest with themselves. Yet the desire remains, in my soul, strong enough to allow the idea that maybe, just maybe, it's possible to find a truth without questions? A peaceful truth? With no conflict? A version of spiritual history that doesn't emphasize the semantics, only the point?
I don't know what these answers are, and i don't know if I'll ever find them. The silver lining, however, is that listening to the good words, sharing the good messages, doing the good work, those things can be done regardless of faith. An atheist can choose to help society, to help other people, to spread love. That's the only doctrine that has validity, seeping into every spiritual guide-book in history. Do unto others...
With any holiday, political, spiritual, personal, we have the opportunity to recognize it in the context of what it means to others. We have a chance to spread love. Don't let this Easter be an exception.
