Admitting and Grieving the Partial Loss of Christmas

As we wrap up the year, I'm finding myself in the frustrated aftermath of Christmas and what it has become, in my family and in the outside world. My kids have emulated the outside world, thinking only of the things they have received, not working to understand the reason for the holiday season, historically, politically, or in any capacity outside their sphere of consumer bullshit. I seek to put an end to it in the new year.

Christmas Day in the Morning...

Thirty nine years on this earth, and it still feels like magic. I hope you all have something that makes you feel this way in your world! Love abounds!

Transportation Plans

My plan for vehicles is a translation of various shuttle craft from Star Trek. I have a little pod, and that's my Tercel. I have my Runabout, that's the Battlewagon. I have my Maquis fighter, and that's my Pathfinder. That's the plan for now. More to come with luck.

Family, Work, and The Great Balance

Let me just start with acknowledging that I'm a piece of shit. This may be crass if you're reading, but hold on. It gets explained.

This weekend, i got to watch a wonderful documentary film about a Nepali climber who, not only completed climbing the 16 highest peaks in the world, but did it in six months and six days. Project Possible.

Next year, I'll be forty. I've done a lot in my 40 years. I lived in Alaska. I've climbed rocks in Utah. I've watched a sunrise in Maine and a sunset in Washington. I've snowboarded, rock climbed, and rafted in the same day. I've had kids, and we all survived the pandemic.

But it's time. Time to start talking to strangers. Time to start trying new foods. Time to stop leaning on the crutches I've brought with me. Time to put one for in front of the other and keep going.

Life isn't short, and it's okay to be worthless. Just be worthless by showing every ounce of love you've got.

Pre-Teen Pains In The Ass

I love my kids. I love all of them. I love all kids. But man, the older they get, the more they piss me off. I say that, mostly joking. But trying to motivate them to do anything is difficult, and my coping skills are on either the ridiculous or the motivated sides of the spectrum. It's hard for me to go in the middle and meet them. 

Mechanic Anxiety

One of my side projects involves a 1985 Toyota Tercel 4wd. It's one of the most impressive cars I've ever driven. It's simple, rugged, utilitarian, and economical... And it's a BEAST in the snow. It will not be stopped by a mere foot or two.

It's an incredible machine, and that's what terrifies me. I'm a pretty engineer-minded person. I enjoy fixing things that are broken, organizing things, making things simple. I have to replace the water pump on this car, and I'm nearly paralyzed with fear that I'm going to screw something up and cost myself a ton of money and time. But it's getting cold, and the mechanic is busy, so i have to do this myself. Terrifying. 

Old UU Friends

Lately, I've been challenging myself to focus on what I'm unhappy about and what I can change. I'm struggling lately in some ways, reaching an age where I'm having to reassess the way my interaction with the world is. It's difficult, at times, to see how far away from kindness we've all fallen. I'm only asking for the strength to keep going in spite of it all.

Star Wars Saturday

Today, we started a thing. Today, we began watching The Phantom Menace. I don't know if we are just watching the Saga movies, all the movies, or if we are even going to dabble in the shows at all. But either way, here we go, down this rabbit hole to a place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

The Great Resignation

Today, we are almost two years deep into the Covid-19 pandemic. We've had variants of the virus crop up. ERs are full everywhere. The Omicron variant is coming. And people are assholes to each other. It's a stupid time to be alive.