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Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Love Everlasting

I was asked recently how long Cat and I have been together and how we make it work so well. I have thoughts, and people aren't going to agree, but here goes: I wasn't looking for a partner. I was focusing on doing what I needed to do for myself do be happy. I met Cat while I was doing those things, which means we had those things in common. I had no expectations. I wasn't planning to marry her or have kids with her. It was enough for me that she was and is still around. That's more than enough. If you are looking for "a partner", whoever you find is going to be a disappointment. If you're looking for somebody, you're not interested in anyone specifically, just a warm body to fill the void. If you go through that rigumroll, then that addage "relationships take work" becomes true. You're fundamentally changing your lives to accommodate each other, which, yes, is really hard. It's also unfair. You're left a shell of who you were, codependent on your partner who you've sacrificed so much for, and vice versa. OR... you could just spend your life focusing on happiness and sharing it with your best friend. I'm lucky I wound up discovering the latter for myself. I don't even know if Cat agrees with any of this, but it's been my philosophy, and two kids, ten years, three states, and maybe a couple of fights later, she's still my best friend, and she's the least stressful thing in my life. I love her as much now as I ever did. Relationships aren't work, people. That's too complex. Relationships are as simple as sharing your joys and sorrows with someone. Stay happy, stay busy, and keep your eyes open and your head up. Chances are, your "soul mate" has already been in your life for a minute.