As life proceeds to deal me curses and blessings, I keep finding myself trying to distinguish between the two. I've found in all my years that the amount of deception that either will carry is bizarre and fascinating at the same time. What is originally perceived to be a very, very good thing can sometimes turn out to be a horrible burdon, partially because it really did have something to hide, but mostly we didn't see whatever it was in its entirety, be it a new friend or love interest, a job, a car, a house, a meal at a restaurant. When they're new, these things can look amazing, convincing us sometimes that our lives will never be the same without them!
Then, after we spend some time with it, the flaws start to show. Or, if we were disgusted originally, the really beautiful parts start to show. we discover and feel guilty or disheartened when the outcome isn't anticipated.
The universal variable in all of this is our personal needs to both judge a new situation, and to try to predict, our even control that situation's outcome.
The remedy, then, would seem to be obvious. Surrender control, accept things as they are, and love it all unconditionally, for you will always receive either love in return or a lesson that will help you love your life better.
We have to trust that there is a balance, and not that we should believe there's a plan, or that things happen for a divine reason. (This phrase strikes me as to obvious to base a part of a belief around. Of course things happen for a reason. The door flew open. The reason is that I kicked it really hard!)
Instead, there is one principal which has been both scientifically proven and theologically endorsed (yet not politically, no surprise). It's been stated in nearly every faith's served texts, and written into law in physics by Sir Isaac Newton. The ultimate statement of balance, the Golden Rule, karma, find your phrase for it.
It tells us simply that things happen, that the energy we put into the world, we receive from the world. When we can have acceptance for what things are, even if what things are seem drastically depressing at first, that acceptance allows us to appreciate the knowledge learned, the strength gained, the inevitable reward somewhere along the line, and sometimes, even, the humor in any given event.
In closing, I can issue a small challenge: look at a situation in your life. The nastier, the better. Maybe you lost your job or your husband recently left you. Maybe your dog passed away. Maybe you stubbed your toe because the lights were off and your two year old woke you up in the middle of the night. Whatever the situation, I want you to list off twenty good things about it. These can be things you've learned about yourself, things that have happened as a circumstance or result, etc. prove to yourself that there is blame in everything.
I love you all.