Skinner's End

It's a windy day here in Salida. Spring is setting up summer. It's as if the mountains themselves are waking up from hibernation, shedding off their winter coats and breathing out those big, cold gusts of air from their rousing lungs. It's a nice breeze, but it's just enough to keep your hoodie on. The sun is shining, though, and those waking mountains are beautiful.

Tired

I'm always tired lately. Kids and work, inflation and all the rough stuff. I hate it. It's exhausting. Oh well. Keep on trucking.

Hope

The older I get, the less often i feel optimistic about the future. I don't want to be, but it's hard to stay up in an ocean of down. Don't lose hope. We are all in this together.

The Easter Post

I'm not a Christian. I'm not devout. I choose the term Universalist to describe what i believe because it's the closest word, but politically, it's tied to an organization that, like every other such society, privaledges title to those who can afford it.

My knowledge of the history of Easter is probably elementary at best. I know it's the culmination of the Holy Week, tied to Passover (called Pascha in other parts of the world). I know it's the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus. I know it's the end of Lent. I know it's celebrated after the first full moon after the spring equinox in accordance with many pagan traditions.

What i don't know is how I'm supposed to feel. I'm a skeptic by nature, but my skepticism is most evident during holy times of year, when i find all of the flaws i can. Questions flood my head every single holiday. Did Jesus really experience apotheosis? Was his body simply taken from his tomb? Maybe by activists? Or animals? If he died for our sins, why did he get rewarded only three days later? Is that a true sacrifice? Is the divinity of Jesus really the most important part of the story? Was any of it real at all? When i ask God, how come he doesn't answer? Do both not possess the necessary privaledge required to communicate with a dirty?

I type all of this as i watch Pope Francis reside over Mass in Vatican City. I'm watching thousands of people at this very moment who have the answers to these questions, and I'm envious. I'm not jealous, because my brain tells me that they can't possibly be honest with themselves. Yet the desire remains, in my soul, strong enough to allow the idea that maybe, just maybe, it's possible to find a truth without questions? A peaceful truth? With no conflict? A version of spiritual history that doesn't emphasize the semantics, only the point?

I don't know what these answers are, and i don't know if I'll ever find them. The silver lining, however, is that listening to the good words, sharing the good messages, doing the good work, those things can be done regardless of faith. An atheist can choose to help society, to help other people, to spread love. That's the only doctrine that has validity, seeping into every spiritual guide-book in history. Do unto others...

With any holiday, political, spiritual, personal, we have the opportunity to recognize it in the context of what it means to others. We have a chance to spread love. Don't let this Easter be an exception.

Screenshot of my own Social Media Outbursts

I posted (and deleted) this before my first cup of coffee. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes, and gauge my answers better.

Respect Politics

Wikipedia says that a political party is "A political party is an organization that coordinates candidates to compete in a particular country's elections. It is common for the members of a party to hold similar ideas about politics, and parties may promote specific ideological or policy goals."

Here in the United States, i understand that's the theory. I understand that it's about freedom of choice, that, in theory, we are supposed to be able to find a group of like-minded people who can get together, find one among them who has charisma and integrity, and thus, make their republic representative of their ideals. In theory.

The reality here is less optimistic. There are two major options because, let's face it, the options beyond that don't seem to matter. Don't get me wrong, to I've voted third party for most of my adult life. I believe it's important to vote YOUR conscience, and not settle for a platform you inherently disagree with to any degree. With only two options, those in power stay in power and those without wind up without even more.

I'm proposing a political party that has no platform. The only requirement in this proposal would be the ability to conduct ones self like an adult, to bring forth your goals and concerns, and to be able to find ways to accomplish these goals without blame, gaslighting, denial, or anything outside of constructive debate. I'm proposing a party of real American citizens, people who live real lives, who work and pay bills, who have kids, and who aren't on the boards of the companies they claim not to represent exclusively.

I know that in 2022, after Covid, Trump, Obama, the wars, the race revolution, the recession...  that after the past two and a half decades of trauma we have seen in America, we are going to have a hard time trusting each other. We are angry. Scared. Beat up. Hungry. We've all but forgotten the ideals that united us, that made us realize that we could overcome TOGETHER. They're trying to take it from us, that friendship, that trust, that pride in our country and what we've made it. We've shifted our focus on what we've done right to what we've done wrong, but we got stuck there, unable to fix it.

We can fix it. We must. And we are only going to do it together. With respect.

The Domestic Life

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the divergence of my past adult life and my current adult life. I've been thinking about having my kids and settling into having a house to live in and staying in one place for the duration of the kids school.

Coming on the heels of living in a van, moving to Alaska, and living in a sailboat, it's been an adjustment to say the least. I'm sitting here in a house with heat and plumbing, chirping on this blog while my youngest watches Little Einsteins. It's cushy. I am not a huge fan, but i need to figure out how to get back without destroying the facing. It's a hard balance.

How to Capitalism

I've been told since I was little that my work ethic would get me everywhere I need to go. Now that I'm a grown ass man and both reaped the benefits and suffered the consequences of having and neglecting my work ethic, I feel it's appropriate to address a few things.

We are coming out of one of the greatest pandemics the modern world has known, and one of the consequences, at least here in the United States, is the Great Recession. The older generations think that all these people quitting their job have no work ethic, while the people quitting believe their work ethics aren't being adequately compensated.

Working in a restaurant during this time has really opened my eyes to things. It's helped me to understand that most restaurant patrons know nothing about how things work, from what it takes to make hundreds of meals in an hour to how to attempt proper dinner manners in public. It's given me sympathy for other services, like teaching and nursing for example, who are in similar situations, barely making enough money to scrape by while simultaneously being trusted with the very lives of the people using their services, often accompanied with criticism over gratitude.

The common flaw in most of these situations is higher management, like the hospital CEO making seven figures and golfing while the doctors are buried in student loan debt and nurses are working crazy hours and dealing with hostile patients and their families who will likely be set back months financially for whatever is going on just for being there. Same goes for the superintendents of schools or the CEO of a fast food chain or a big box grocer.

Money doesn't corrupt everyone, and there are individuals who are swinging their particular hammers at what they deem appropriate. Some billionaires are building revolutionary new technologies, others are helping give groundbreaking access to vaccinations. But everyday people are drifting away from empathy, seeking the prize of monetary consumption, and not understanding that overconsumption is usually deemed a disease.

Be mindful when you are spending your money, not only where you're spending it but how. 

The Grind

Today, I worked the post-double morning shift. It was rough. I'm tired. But it's okay, because it's money, and we need that.