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Friday, August 14, 2015

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20 September 2008

"It's crazy how sometimes we, as humans, find inspiration in the strangest or most unexpected places. It's almost as if, somehow, we are subconsciously searching for something greater, a search that trumps even the best intentions we are aware of, that leads us to new and motivating things we couldn't fathom before.

"On September 11th, my cousin ... died. To say I knew him or anything significant about him would be fallacy. I haven't seen him in around 20 years. I knew bits and pieces, like how he had dreads and did amazing pottery, but that was all secondhand and vague. He died, and I went with my mom and brother to his funeral, and here were all of these people whose lives he had touched for being a free spirit. I fear I've made an error in not getting to know this guy. I think we could have been good friends. However, [he] did inspire me.

"Free spirits are usually kindred spirits with one another. A free spirit can recognize another upon their first meeting and many times are drawn to each other. The essence of [my cousin] was with us all at that service, and I felt motivated to follow through with my goal of moving into my van, the BattleWagon, to see where I go with it. We only live once, and now is the most precious time.

"This is a more severe feeling than when I had watched "Into The Wild" or read the book before that.

"So, tomorrow is my last day at home in my Capitol Hill studio. I'm out. My home will be a 1994 GMC Safari, and I'll be building it to my needs as I go. Come on this adventure with [me]."

I haven't really taken the time to stop and read any of my old blogs in a long time. Lately, I've been so caught up in feeling too busy, too overwhelmed in the simple chaos of having a very busy life, not much time for the fun things, and kids to be responsible for.

I've felt lost. I've felt like a shadow I'd my former self, the outgoing and confident and ridiculous guy who was everyone's best friend, and not afraid of anything.

After some thought and posting my blog last night, I found a sense of relaxation afterwords. I pondered what it would take to feel like my younger self mentally. A seasoned and wise version of that dude that gave hugs to strangers.

Living in my first BattleWagon was one of the best times of my life. I had unlimited freedom, and I exercised it. Moab became a favorite destination of mine. I enjoyed every second of it.

If I can keep up, I'll take you with me as I try to remember all the nonsense I'd get into. You'll see me at some boring times, but hopefully you'll see some cool shit along the way.

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