Inspiration From Modern Westerns

I've been getting into an old western drama about a family moving to Oregon from Texas in 1883. It's horrific and beautiful, wild and graceful, brilliant and simple.

I've often revised a fantasy of mine to emulate that lifestyle. While I'm not looking to get a ten gallon hat and work as a ranch hand, i do admire the idea of a relationship with nature, with local people, and with survival in relative comfort while still acknowledging difficulty.

Maybe someday I'll build my own cabin. Maybe someday I'll have animals or a farm. These are noble pursuits, and i will seek them out.

Plans

I feel like calling them Plans instead of Goals or Dreams makes them a little more tangible? I don't know if that's the case, but this weekend is for planning, and we have much to plan for. The current housing situation is the most important thing to address. We are currently paying half to two thirds of our income on rent. It's unacceptable, but i don't fault my landlord. He's been incredible through Covid and everything else, and I'm thankful for having shelter and heat and running water, for sure. But that's a lot of money, and i don't feel well sentencing myself or my family to a life of servitude like that.

Admitting and Grieving the Partial Loss of Christmas

As we wrap up the year, I'm finding myself in the frustrated aftermath of Christmas and what it has become, in my family and in the outside world. My kids have emulated the outside world, thinking only of the things they have received, not working to understand the reason for the holiday season, historically, politically, or in any capacity outside their sphere of consumer bullshit. I seek to put an end to it in the new year.

Christmas Day in the Morning...

Thirty nine years on this earth, and it still feels like magic. I hope you all have something that makes you feel this way in your world! Love abounds!

Transportation Plans

My plan for vehicles is a translation of various shuttle craft from Star Trek. I have a little pod, and that's my Tercel. I have my Runabout, that's the Battlewagon. I have my Maquis fighter, and that's my Pathfinder. That's the plan for now. More to come with luck.

Family, Work, and The Great Balance

Let me just start with acknowledging that I'm a piece of shit. This may be crass if you're reading, but hold on. It gets explained.

This weekend, i got to watch a wonderful documentary film about a Nepali climber who, not only completed climbing the 16 highest peaks in the world, but did it in six months and six days. Project Possible.

Next year, I'll be forty. I've done a lot in my 40 years. I lived in Alaska. I've climbed rocks in Utah. I've watched a sunrise in Maine and a sunset in Washington. I've snowboarded, rock climbed, and rafted in the same day. I've had kids, and we all survived the pandemic.

But it's time. Time to start talking to strangers. Time to start trying new foods. Time to stop leaning on the crutches I've brought with me. Time to put one for in front of the other and keep going.

Life isn't short, and it's okay to be worthless. Just be worthless by showing every ounce of love you've got.

Pre-Teen Pains In The Ass

I love my kids. I love all of them. I love all kids. But man, the older they get, the more they piss me off. I say that, mostly joking. But trying to motivate them to do anything is difficult, and my coping skills are on either the ridiculous or the motivated sides of the spectrum. It's hard for me to go in the middle and meet them.