Mechanic Anxiety

One of my side projects involves a 1985 Toyota Tercel 4wd. It's one of the most impressive cars I've ever driven. It's simple, rugged, utilitarian, and economical... And it's a BEAST in the snow. It will not be stopped by a mere foot or two.

It's an incredible machine, and that's what terrifies me. I'm a pretty engineer-minded person. I enjoy fixing things that are broken, organizing things, making things simple. I have to replace the water pump on this car, and I'm nearly paralyzed with fear that I'm going to screw something up and cost myself a ton of money and time. But it's getting cold, and the mechanic is busy, so i have to do this myself. Terrifying. 

Old UU Friends

Lately, I've been challenging myself to focus on what I'm unhappy about and what I can change. I'm struggling lately in some ways, reaching an age where I'm having to reassess the way my interaction with the world is. It's difficult, at times, to see how far away from kindness we've all fallen. I'm only asking for the strength to keep going in spite of it all.

Star Wars Saturday

Today, we started a thing. Today, we began watching The Phantom Menace. I don't know if we are just watching the Saga movies, all the movies, or if we are even going to dabble in the shows at all. But either way, here we go, down this rabbit hole to a place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

The Great Resignation

Today, we are almost two years deep into the Covid-19 pandemic. We've had variants of the virus crop up. ERs are full everywhere. The Omicron variant is coming. And people are assholes to each other. It's a stupid time to be alive.

The Holiday Crush

Every year, it's a similar feeling: you work to save as much as you can, so you can spend as much as you can on toys and things that people will forget about. It's difficult to find gifts that are meaningful and useful, and the message of the holiday is all but lost. 

The Holiday Bullshit

Today is the start of Christmas, i guess. The holidays are in full force. My stomach still hurts as I'm cramming it full of leftovers at every available opportunity. It's going to be hard to keep myself motivated through all this bullshit this year. I'm scared of the burden.  Financially incarcerated in the lower class caste. Go capitalist Christmas.

Inspiration From Martial Arts

I wouldn't pretend to say I'm anything resembling a martial artist. I went to an MMA gym long enough to buy the gear and get my ass kicked, learn a few basics, but it never crossed my mind to make it a lifestyle choice.

It impresses me to see people who have trained for years and years perform their artistry in this field, whether in graded or real combat or choreographed film, it's incredible. The discipline. The motivation. The commitment.

While i know that'll never be me, i am inspired by these people, by the stories they tell, the roles they play. It's incredible to see.