Useless Update

More money, more problems. But good problems?

Sigh...

It's been chaos, but better. I quit the restaurant and am hoping to be driving any day now for UPS. IM Everyone says it's a great gig if I can get there. Still waiting.

Progress

Lately, things have been steering towards a better direction. It's still hard, but the view looks nice where we're going for a change. New cars, new jobs, family connections trickling in. It's something, for sure.

New Beginnings

I quit my job of 4½ years yesterday, and I didn't realize how bad it was. I feel happier than I have in weeks. The pending sense of doom is lifting. I should be driving at UPS within a month! Here's to the next step! Holy wah.

Yay

I replaced the battery on the OGBW. It started and ran, and I moved it. It has no brake lights or turn signals though. Ugh.

Bullshit

Crazy bullshit, this life is. Last year, we were beginning to make plans to get into a camper, saving up some money to commit to a plan of action that would allow us to crush saving up for a house. Fast forward to now, and the camper has allowed us the freedom of not living in my parents basement (again). I've been beaten down, lied to, gaslit, betrayed, made empty promises. I spent four years with a company that forgot I existed. I went from five shifts a week, three managing, down to one shift a week as a cook. People with less seniority than me, people that have been fired, in fact, are working more shifts than me. This is why men kill themselves. Not everyone has this much resilience. I mean, losing everything I own, losing a son, losing another son for a year, moving, across the county, across town... It's almost too much.

When It Rains...

In the Star Wars universe, the Gray Jedi have a code. One of the lines is "knowledge fades without the strength to act". I've spent the last few months in a fog. Things have been so terribly difficult, financially, logistically, practically... God only knows how we survived. But we have survived. We've done pretty well. This rivals the Montana times in my epic saga, but I have to believe good things are on the horizon. Even if Star Trek turns out to be prophecy (look up the Bell Riots) and there's a third world war or a second civil war, I'm hopeful that my kids will survive and make babies of their own that explore space and rebuild humanity with kindness and compassion.