Love Everlasting

I was asked recently how long Cat and I have been together and how we make it work so well. I have thoughts, and people aren't going to agree, but here goes: I wasn't looking for a partner. I was focusing on doing what I needed to do for myself do be happy. I met Cat while I was doing those things, which means we had those things in common. I had no expectations. I wasn't planning to marry her or have kids with her. It was enough for me that she was and is still around. That's more than enough. If you are looking for "a partner", whoever you find is going to be a disappointment. If you're looking for somebody, you're not interested in anyone specifically, just a warm body to fill the void. If you go through that rigumroll, then that addage "relationships take work" becomes true. You're fundamentally changing your lives to accommodate each other, which, yes, is really hard. It's also unfair. You're left a shell of who you were, codependent on your partner who you've sacrificed so much for, and vice versa. OR... you could just spend your life focusing on happiness and sharing it with your best friend. I'm lucky I wound up discovering the latter for myself. I don't even know if Cat agrees with any of this, but it's been my philosophy, and two kids, ten years, three states, and maybe a couple of fights later, she's still my best friend, and she's the least stressful thing in my life. I love her as much now as I ever did. Relationships aren't work, people. That's too complex. Relationships are as simple as sharing your joys and sorrows with someone. Stay happy, stay busy, and keep your eyes open and your head up. Chances are, your "soul mate" has already been in your life for a minute.

The Order

In most Amish (Anabaptist) culture, apparently they have a set of rules they follow from youth called "Ein Ordnung", which translates from German to "an order". It's the unwritten code each congregation has to follow unwaveringly. Their commitment to community, shunning technology, living simply, making clothes, growing beards, and having babies, all are memorized and passed down verbally in the Ordnung. No written blueprints.

Oral tradition is an incredibly difficult thing to translate into text, and so many cultures, globally, depend on it. Do your part to listen and retain as much as possible. Even if it's not your culture, you're human, and have an obligation to protect it.

What is grief, if not love persevering?

Today, I've been on a productive tear. I've had my list, and I've been destroying it. I usually try to get into the 70s or 80s on my list game. Today, before work, I'm already at 62. Laundry is folded. Dishes are done. Kids bathroom is clean.

I've been doing it all for a distraction.

The hardships of life have been overwhelming lately. I'm sure it's not just me, but I've been grieving the loss of a comfortable life. But that grief has to be translated into love somehow? Motivation? Energy to persevere?

Or just a distraction.

Little Rick Steves

I picked the oldest up from the last leg of a quick tour of DC and NYC. He did incredibly. I'm so proud.

Things Never Get Easier

They don't get easier, but we do gain wisdom through experience to apply to said things.

Yesterday, we had to put our family Cat down. Bizkit was a stray, and we had her for about the last year of her life. She succumbed to lymphoma on June 1.

This was my kids' first taste of this kind of grief, and that is the greatest gift from all of this. Losing a pet is kind of like getting an immunization against losing a family member. You'll still get the grief, but you have a little experience, you've grown a little. It doesn't get easier, but you get more tools every time.

Productivity

In the past 24 hours, I've fixed my dishwasher, swamp cooler, and dryer. Today, I'm reaping the benefits of that work, and getting caught up on laundry, and using the time saved on dishes to get other things down around the house. I managed to rake up the entire back yard and balance the checkbook, which hasn't been done in three days. Work in progress, I suppose. Just keep moving forward.

Childhood

Today, i went with my daughter and her second grade class on their field trip... to a park. We learned about all sorts of cool things, though. How beavers live, how many fish are not native to Colorado, how to float in the river... it was a good day